The Blonde Police Applicant

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.


The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview.


Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.


Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says.


"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history.


"OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," she admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "


and come back later and tell me what you've figured out.


" He figures that's the last he'll see of her.


The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.


"Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"


*******

The Obliging Mortician

Dorothy was very upset because her husband Albert had just passed away.

She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed, and the instant she sees him she starts wailing and crying.

One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

The attendant apologizes and explains that they always put the bodies in a black suit as a matter of course, but he'd see what he could do.


The next day, Dorothy returns to the mortuary to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the attendant pulls back the curtain, Dorothy manages to smile through her tears as Albert is now wearing a smart blue suit.

She asks the attendant, "How did you manage to get hold of that beautiful blue suit?"


"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man who was about your husband's size was brought in, and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset, as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the attendant replied.

The woman smiled.

He continued: "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads around

Blonde joke

A blond named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend.

The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... But if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go.

"Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."

Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it's a cuckoo.."

Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million.

"Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo.

"Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is"Regis: "Are you confident?"


Barbara: "Absolutely"

Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler.

Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.

" That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink.

As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "

Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!" Barbara replies,

"Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"*******

Very Thin Car